The Three W’s Revisited

by

As I mentioned last week, there are three W’s in my life—William, Writing, and Walking. Today’s blog deals with all three, and this deals with W #1.

First off, I’m writing this on December 21st. It may be the shortest day of the year, but it’s also Bill’s and my thirty-eighth wedding anniversary. For those of you who don’t know the story, we met on June 21,1985, at a widowed retreat where we learned that our first spouses had died on the same day of the year two years apart. In terms of the grief process, however, we discovered we were very much on the same page.

At first our conversations consisted of comparing notes because our families had gone through similar tragedies—losing a spouse and a parent to long-term illnesses. We all, kids and parents both, had had all our hopes and expectations for our futures snatched away from us, and that gave us a lot to talk about. Before long, however, we found things to laugh about, too, and being able to laugh again was a miracle in and of itself. We also found we came from similar backgrounds, having been raised in families with solid Midwestern values and beliefs.

And then a complication came into our talks when Bill began hinting around that he wanted to be married again. I told him I was sure he would make someone an excellent husband, but I wasn’t the marrying kind. I had tried marriage once, and it turned out I wasn’t very good at it. That stance lasted until early in October when he was offered a job in Grass Valley, California. I was devastated at the idea of his leaving town, and that forced me to face up to the fact that if all I really wanted was a meaningless relationship, I had no right to be upset that he was leaving. A day later, when he asked me to marry him, I said, “Okay, when?”

To begin with, we planned on getting married the following summer. Turns out summer was way too far away. Next we talked about Valentine’s Day, but our preferred minister was already booked for that. Then we learned she would be in Seattle for Christmas, and so December 21st became the day in question. At the time, people asked us why the big hurry? Some thought it was too soon—that this was just rebound situation for Bill especially. A few of the very nervy ones went so far as to ask if we were pregnant. No, we weren’t. The truth is, we’d both lost what we’d always believed would be our futures. Now, with no idea of how much time we’d have together, we didn’t want to waste a moment of it.

It was a wonderful wedding even though Seattle was going through a serious fog event at the time, and some of the guests, including my parents, weren’t able to make it.

Back then, we hardly dared hope we’d have this many years together. So today, on our 38th wedding anniversary, I’m still glad we didn’t waste any time getting to the altar.

Next up is W #2—Writing. This week negotiations concluded on a new contract with HarperCollins, one that that means I’ll be writing books well into my eighties. Some people find that astonishing. “Don’t you want to retire?” they ask. “Aren’t you tired of working?” The answer to both of those questions is NO and NO.

Thanks to my readers, for the past forty-plus years, I’ve been living my childhood dream of becoming a writer when I grew up. Someone told me once that if you find your passion, you won’t work a day in your life. And that’s been true for me. I love writing. When I’m doing it, the process doesn’t seem like work. I love interacting with my readers. I even love writing this blog. So yes, I’m not stopping just yet.

And finally W #3. Inside steps seemingly take forever. Outside steps are invigorating. Today I was outside walking in chilly but sunny weather—sunny with a few patches of low-lying fog.

I grew up in the Arizona desert. I always thought rain and fog went together. Then one September morning in 1981 after moving to Seattle, I walked to a morning networking breakfast in soupy fog. When breakfast was over, I was astonished when I stepped outside into blinding sunlight.

Today, as rays of the sun cut through the fog and lit up the front lawn, I was reminded of a poem I wrote back then, on that ultimately sunny day. At the time I was still struggling with the emotional aftermath of my divorce. The poem is called Fog.

I walk in fog.
Its velvet touch
Caresses me
And hides the hurt.

Beyond the fog
The sun shines
Clear and bright.
I must keep moving
I have earned the light.

It was another four years before the light, a guy named Bill, came walking into my life. Thirty-eight years later, he’s still here. Which is why this is a very Happy Anniversary.

106 thoughts on “The Three W’s Revisited”

  2. What a Blessing- To be married for 38 years and still have those same emotions is truly a blessing and a blessing you both deserve. Thanks for sharing. Merry Christmas! Jim

    P.S. I am living in MN for past 7 years but spent the previous 40 years in Seattle. And yes I have been to the DogHouse.

  5. Congratulations on the courage for happiness. You are a great example of practice what you preach and that it works. I enjoy all of your books and nice touch to the week when your blog comes through.
    Judy W
    Redding CA

  7. A very Happy 38th Anniversary to you both! We celbrated 58 this year. May yoiur day be filled with lots of phone calls, emails, cards and congratulations on your blog!

  11. Happy Anniversary! May you and your husband have many more years together.

    Keep writing so all your fans can keep reading your wonderful books!

  12. Don’t see that my Happy Anniversary comment posted so will say again Happy 38th Anniversary! Hope your day was awesome with many congratulations coming your way. Ours was 58 years this year.

    • What Wondrous Wonders!!!
      Happy LOVE Day!!! You are truly blessed and graciously share those blessings with us!!!
      Thank you, Judy.
      P.S. Way to go, Harper Collins!!!!

  14. What a wonderful message today. I hope Bill and you have many more happy years. Christmas blessings and a Happy New Year!

  15. I meant to ask about Lefse. Will you be having some this year? Thank goodness I am not Norwegian and don’t have eat it.

  16. First – Happy Anniversary!

    Second – today is my brother Tom and my SIL Nancy’s 62nd wedding anniversary and my exchange student sister Carmen and her husband Ken’s 49th wedding anniversary.

  17. What Wondrous Wonders!!!
    Happy LOVE Day!!! You are truly blessed and graciously share those blessings with us!!!
    Thank you, Judy.
    P.S. Way to go, HarperCollins!!!!

  19. Congratulations on your Anniversary. Your story is a beautiful tribute and gives me so much hope that true love really does exist “beyond the fog.” I lost my husband to cancer on Memorial Day this year and your poem resonated with me. As a hopeful mystery writer “of a certain age” I’m so thankful for your stories–both fiction and real. Don’t stop ’til you drop! Sending love this Christmas and Happy New Year to you, Bill, and family. May you all enjoy many more years of health and joy together! Suzy Wimer

  20. I’m thrilled that I can look forward to more books from you for years to come.

    Happy Anniversary! (I’ve been married to my Bill for 40 years)

  22. Please—never retire! I love all your books and really look forward to the new ones. I just recommended you to aFacebook friend who was facing the holidays alone. She seemed eager to get started. I can’t imagine what fun it would be to start with your Beumont books from the beginning, move on to Joanna Brady then Ali and on and on. If and when you retire, I will start over at the beginning!

    Happiest of all holidays!
    Sue

  23. Please—never retire! I love all your books and really look forward to the new ones. I just recommended you to aFacebook friend who was facing the holidays alone. She seemed eager to get started. I can’t imagine what fun it would be to start with your Beumont books from the beginning, move on to Joanna Brady then Ali and on and on. If and when you retire, I will start over and enjoy them all!

    Happiest of all holidays!
    Sue

  24. Happy 38th wedding anniversary. May you and Bill have many more healthy happy years together. And, we readers many more great books to anticipate from you.

    We celebrated our 60th this year in June.

  25. I’m very happy for you and Bill and that your lives turned around after you met. It is so nice to hear of good news once in a while and of people who do things right!

    Happy Anniversary, Merry Christmas, and I really enjoy your books!

  28. Happy 38th wedding anniversary, and Merry Christmas to you and Bill.

    I love your books so I am thrilled to hear you will continue writing them. I have finished the Beaumont series to date. [I have a ‘thing’ about reading series in order] and am now into Joanna Brady, and then it will be on to Ali.

    As for the walking, it wears me out just walking from the front door to the back door, but the fact that I can do it without my walker is a blessing.

  29. We celebrated our 54th on the 20th. We always have dinner at Hacienda del Sol. I am sure you know it. Congratulations to you and Bill and soon you will be celebrating the 54th also.

  32. I look forward to reading anything you write. You are a ray of sunshine when one is needed the most. Happy Holidays to you and Bill.

  35. Bless You and Bill! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays! So happy for you! I just had my 60th Anniversary. It has not all been easy but we are still together. He now has Vascular Dementia, so it is harder now then ever! I still do my creative things, crochet, knit and also write poetry. Put in the blogger where my poems are.
    Hope your 3 W’s continue for a very long time!

  36. I am so uplifted when I read your blogs. Thank you for taking time out of you very busy schedule of writing your next novel and daily walking. We are so Blessed that you allow us, your readers into your private like, it’s very touching Happy Anniversary and in a few days.. Merry Christmas!

  37. You are indeed a treasure Judy! Thank you for continuing your passion so we might continue to be entertained. You are also an inspiration. I sure hope your anniversary was a joyous occasion.
    I wonder if you have ever considered walking the Camino? I walk quite a bit also, but not as religiously as you do. I trained and walked the Camino in 2019. I was truly an epic event. Just a thought. Another challenge I undertook…in 2022 I walked 2022 miles. A bit more than 5 miles a day, but doable.
    Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a grand beginning to the new year!

  39. Well – I hope you spoiled each other rotten on your momentous anniversary! Love you guys and love your relationship and love that I was allowed into your life and now get your updates by blog. Many many happy years ahead to you darlings.

  40. Thank you for sharing this story. I needed a “feel good ” moment. I wish you both a Wonderful Christmas and blessed 2024! Thank you for being you.

  41. Happy Anniversary!!! A day late but the wishes are still the same. We really enjoy your blogs and look forward to each one. We wish you the Merriest of Christmases and a Happy, Healthy New Year. Keep up the good work.
    Best Wishes – Caren

  42. I just wanted to wish you & Bill a Happy Anniversary!!
    Also, to say thank you for so many years of joy from your books. As a recovering alcoholic, your Beaumont books have a special place in my heart!
    Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas!

  44. Wishing You and Bill the best Christmas season along with Happy Anniversary.
    I have enjoyed your worlds and all the friends I have now because of you entering my life.
    Thanks and Merry Christmas to you and yours !

  46. Our 49th anniversary was yesterday Dec 21st. The church was available the day after student teaching ended and the only day before my last college term started in January. We safely made it across the mountains through the snow from Portland Oregon to Sunriver Resort in Bend Oregon for our honeymoon.
    My dyslexic husbands reads us to sleep nightly from your books on Kindle. As other 77 year old people who suffered insults and shame from dads and others this man has achieved an MBA and career in state government through plain old determination and hard work. With two children and six grandchildren we are blessed.
    Thank you for your books that have opened up a new world for my husband who wasn’t much for reading. We have finished the Beaumont series and are now starting Ali Reynolds.
    Merry Christmas

    • In the nineties when my sons were attending WSU, at a Mom’s weekend book signing, two people showed up with a stack of my books to be signed. They told me that their dyslexic son, now a student at WSU, had learned to read by reading the Beaumont books. They were the first thing that had interested him enough to go through the work of reading.

      In Tucson I met a woman who at age 48 and with the help of a Literacy Connects reading coach, had learned to read by reading the Joanna Brady books. She was Hispanic, so she was someone who was struggling with both English as a second language and dyslexia.

      So thank you for telling me that your dyslexic husband reads to you at night. What a blessing.

  48. Congratulations on your anniversary. I hope there’s many more to come. It is wonderful that you found each other after trials and tribulations.
    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

  49. Happy 38th Anniversary to you both. Love your stories and your books M

    erry Christmas and Happy New Year.

  50. Beautiful story. So happy for both of you. I once went to one of those grief retreats a couple years before you did. They were very helpful and I still recommend group grief therapy like WICS was.

  51. This blog hit on too many levels for here. You and I have such a shared history we could have been sisters or at least best friends. I will keep your poem. Fog is my favorite time. And you’d smile to hear my 2nd marriage story–I too said no because “tried it and not good at it”. 55 years this past October. We, too, planned and then decided on Friday after work. Wish I could sit and talk with you. Happy Anniversary!

  55. Happy anniversary, hope there are many more. December 23 is my anniversary, we have been married 57 years and it doesn’t seem that long.
    My husband and I both love your books, we read all of them. Glad you will be writing more.

  56. Congratulations! Have a wonderful Christmas and blessings in 2024. (I’m glad you are not retiring)

  57. Happy Anniversary, Judy & Bill!

    I absolutely never tire of hearing how the two of you met. I love the entire story. So, I hope I hear it repeated many times over.

    It’s very apparent that you love your “job”. No wonder it doesn’t it get tiring. You are living your dream to the fullest and all of your fans are benefiting from it.

    Walking indoors is the pits! I don’t know what could be more boring.

    Judy, you have your life under control and I envy the way you are able to bring all of the important things all together.

    Merry Christmas to you & Bill.

  58. Another set of the 3 Rs:

    Work, worry, and winging it!

    And a fourth which adds much needed perspective: worship

    Tom Decker

  59. Happy anniversary! My hubby and I have also been married 38 years. We met on a remote radar site in eastern Turkey while stationed together in the USAF.

  61. Happy Anniversary!! I wish you many more happy years! We celebrate our 64th next April. Most have been happy times. I don’t remember exactly any of the times that were challenges,although I am sure there were!!

  62. Your blog touched my heart in a big way. You and I, we are the same age. I was widowed at 49 after a 31 years of marriage. I WANTED another good marriage but it was 10 years before I met Elmer on the internet. We emailed. Finally we exchanged phone numbers and after about 3 months we met. 6 months later, we were married in a nursing home so that his 90 year old mom could attend. Everyone questioned our haste except his mom and his coworkers who could see how happy Elmer was after losing his wife 4 years previous. I lost my sweet Elmer after 16 years together. This will be my second Xmas without him. You are so blessed and you KNOW that. We KNEW it too Awesome 16 years.

  64. Congratulations and may the light of Christmas and Bill continue to bless you! I am forever grateful that you will continue having fun doing what you are passionate about!

  66. Thank you for sharing yours and Bill’s story. As you get older, you do realize there is light at the end of the tunnel. Yours is a true love story met from hardship. Have a wonderful, holiday season, looking forward to the new books.

  67. Hi JAJ, you are a very exceptional person for sharing your story of heartbreak and happiness. As someone who has enjoyed your novels over the years, I eagerly await your next endeavor. With your wizardry and creative talents, I am sure your next cast of richly drawn characters will entertain and delight your your loyal and supportive fan base. Congratulations on yours and Bill’s anniversary. A day before your anniversary was my birthday, at this moment I am aged at twice your anniversary day. Blessed Holidays and Merry Christmas, and a healthy and prosperous New Year to you both. Michael Walsh.

  68. Happy Anniversary to you and Bill ??
    We are all so lucky that you will be writing into your 80’s and beyond.
    Happy Holidays to you.

  70. Congratulations to you and Bill!
    And I am so glad to hear you are enjoying your writing career and will be continuing to entertain us long into your 80’s. How about doing it into you 90’s? As we both know, age is only a number. It’s enjoying life that counts!

  71. Did you in fact ever move to Grass Valley? i found it and its historic twin Nevada City California at its finest!

    Ex-Sacramento Bob Glass

  72. Congratulations on both your anniversary & the new writing contract. Very happy you will have more books. Read all the JP Beaumont & Ali Reynolds series. Hope there are more of those up your sleeve?

    BTW, I graduated BHS in 1964. Was Diane Hudman then. Married my husband, Dave Beling in October of 1964. We celebrated 59 years this year. Very blessed?

  73. I never get tired of reading you whether it’s in a blog or a book a new read or a reread. Somehow when you put words together, they make me feel good. Hope you have a happy holiday. Congratulations on your anniversary. God bless you.

  75. Wishing you and Bill a joyous anniversary celebration….and many more years of wedded bliss.

  76. Happy 38th Wedding Anniversary to you and Bill.
    This is another of your best blogs.

  79. I added this comment this morning but it didn’t get posted so I’ll try again…
    Love your books, love your blog, love you! I look forward to Fridays when I can read your news. May you always take pleasure in your 3 W’s and never stop writing. Happy 38th anniversary. Your love story proves that soulmates do exist. Cheers to many more years together and Merry Christmas.

  80. I’m so happy for you and Bill. Thank you for sharing your stories; the true ones and the fiction ones. I’m glad you signed that contract! Happy Anniversary and Happy Holidays from Taos!

  82. As I read this it comes to my mind that on December 23 Dianna and I will be married 57 years – I am one lucky guy. If I could just write like you.

  85. Happy Anniversary!
    Sherbie and I got married in June 1979. We sold my house in Maryvale and moved to a new house in Ahwatukee on December 21, 1979. The movers came and loaded up while we headed for the new digs with a completely decorated tree in the back of the pickup. Somewhere around 32nd street on the freeway traffic came to a dead stop for about 15 minutes while people tried to corral a bull that was loose on the freeway. GOOD TIMES !
    Merry Christmas! Going to my sons in OKC today to make Lefse.

  86. Happy 38th! We celebrated our 58th this year. Even with travesty of aging and illness, it actually has gotten easier and better. We are just a little older than you but hope for many additional years.

  87. What a beautiful, heartwarming blog…
    May God continue to bless you and Bill and keep you safe and happy and healthy, and yes, you have earned a way out of the fog.
    Valerie

  88. Happy anniversary! I just began reading your books. I’m not usually a reader of mysteries. A fellow resident, Sandy donated her entire autographed collection of your books to our library. I was born in Seattle, so began with the Beaumonts – can’t put them down!

  89. Happy Anniversary, my dear friends. What a wonderful life you’ve had together! Wishing you many more years of happiness.
    Love, Pat

  90. I had bought After the Fire in 2020 but gave it away after resding it, decided to get kindle version with part of my Christmas money, just reread the introduction. Glad you’re still writing and that you met and married Bill! looking forward to next book

  91. What a lovely, romantic Blog today- ( Or rather, on the Solstice)
    I myself must be in a fog- I’ve been thinking all day that today is Friday, and looking for your Blog!
    The story of you and Bill is hugely inspiring- That you found each other, and things somehow conspired to get you hitched by Christmas!
    That you, a sun-person from Arizona, got married on the shortest, darkest day of the year, is another sign of the miraculous turn of events that launched your new life together-
    God Bless Both of You- May you have many more years together!

  92. You are absolutely right about going ahead and getting msrried. My Father said “Don’t miss your opportunities!” Same with writing, how could you not write as long as possible. Even the very difficult Walker series bring up the hidden abuses by the medical doctor, but also the beautiful native ways of coping and protector that the victim’s relatives used to endure a life that was proscribed by the determination to remove their sacred practicies, their language, and all thought of anything but assimilation. I grew up in a state that used to have 18 native tribes, but only the Seminoles survived. i really enjoy all the relationships and values that are mirrowred in your writing. Thee blogs are the ppaul harvey, the rest of the story for me.

  94. Delightful as always!! Happy 38th anniversary!
    Thank you for your writing and your walking, too! I have had MS for 40 years but walking has kept me happy and healthy. Happy New Year to you and Bill!! I look forward to all your new books since I happily devour each one!

  96. Happy Anniversary and I am so glad you are continuing to write. I just finished re-reading ALL of your books. They are like old friends, especially JP Beaumont. I don’t want him to ever die. God Bless you!!

  98. Happy Anniversary and best wishes for many more!! My wife and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this year and are still loving life together.
    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
    THANK YOU for keeping us all entertained for all of these years!!

  99. Thanks be to the spirits, God, Goddess, and all saints. You will continue writing. I have been so blessed to read your books and your blog. Whenever I read or think of your books and blog, I feel connected to my (deceased) husband. Because of you, his last months on earth were so much better. He even developed a crush on Joanna Brady. Your characters seem so real. I also am glad I got to meet you once. I hope to see you again.

  100. Isn’t it wonderful when you find the person who fills all those spaces? It’s our second marriages, too and we never thought it could be. 44 years

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