I’m sure I am not alone in rejoicing at the end of the election campaign season.  I’m tired beyond belief of the scary, horror movie off screen voices telling us that the world as we know it will end if such and such a candidate is elected or not.  It’s over.  It’s done.  I voted.  Some of my folks and issues won.  Others did not. Now can we all just take a breath and find something to smile about? ( In view of the remainder of this post, to put that previous sentence in a proper grammatical light, I should probably have said, “about which to smile.”  About is a preposition.  It should be followed by an object, but in this case, I’m having my cake and eating it, too.)

Of course, it’s not only the campaign advertising that has set my teeth on edge.  This week I found myself yelling at the TV set during MASTERPIECE THEATER!!!  And what was it that sent me into a tantrum?  Several times in the course of one program, characters said “Between you and I!”  Hell’s, bells you hounds!” to quote my much loved but still dreaded senior English teacher at Bisbee High School, Mrs. Medigovich.

Between is a preposition.  Because prepositions* are NOT to end sentences with, prepositions are usually followed by objects of prepositions.  And if those objects happen to be personal pronouns they need to be in the objective case.  Here’s a handy dandy reminder about personal pronouns.

Subjective case:  I, you, we, they, who.

Objective case:  Me, you, us, them, whom.

As you can see, you is a switch hitter.  It goes both ways.

The subjective case is used when the personal pronoun is the subject of a sentence.  Tom and I went to the store.  NOT!  NOT!  NOT!  Me and Tom went to the store.  Putting Tom’s name first is a matter of being polite rather than a point of grammar.  For years I’ve attempted to teach members of our family that “Mean Tom went to the store,” is more a complaint about Tom’s behavior than it is about something they did!

So back to Masterpiece Theater.  No one in his or her right mind would say, “Between we.”  Doesn’t work.  Doesn’t sound right.  Between us does.   So why on earth would “Between you and I” work?  It doesn’t.  At least not for me.  (Did you notice that?  For is a preposition followed by the personal pronoun me–objective case.)

I think one of the best lessons ever in how to misuse personal pronouns is from the following:

Me love has flew

Him did I dirt.

Me did not know

Him were a flirt.

So them in love

Let I forbid

Lest they be done

Like I be did.

Him has gone.

Him has flown.

Him has left I

All alone.

Us cannot come to he.

Him cannot come to we.

I was never meant to was,

So writing poetry’s all I does.

If you fix the grammar, it doesn’t rhyme.  I don’t care.  You are not going to force me off my grammatical high horse.  I went to the store.  Tom and I went to the store.  Between us NOT  Between we.  And definitely NOT Between you and I.

And while I’m at it,  don’t get me started on the difference between gerunds and participles.  Gerunds are ING words used as nouns.  Participles are ING words used as adjectives.  I have a very colorful way of bringing the difference between the two home, but it’s probably not fit to print at the PI.com website.  And it would make those of you who drink coffee while reading this blog splatter coffee all over your computer screens.

Wait a minute.  I just remembered.  When I started reading Zane Grey in third grade, there were occasionally parts of words that were blanked out.  I soon figured out that that the first part of —-ed was probably damn.  So I’ll just let you fill in the blanks.  Gerund:  —-ing is good.  Participle:  No —-ing way!

Thus endeth the grammar screed for the day from an English Major who obviously endured far too many election campaign commercials.

Amen, sister.  Preach on!

*In case you came of age after the educational system stopped teaching parts of speech, here’s a handy guide to some often used prepositions:  up, down, in, out, over, under, for , before, beside, between, behind.