What’s In A Name

For the past several years, starting with the Pandemic, I’ve maintained a fairly strict news embargo—my personal way of maintaining six feet of mental distance between me and the world’s constant barrage of bad news.

For someone who read two newspapers a day for most of her adult life, going off it almost cold turkey came as a big shock to my system, but the never-ending panic mongering and political divisiveness finally became too much to bear, and I called a halt.

At this point, I scroll through the headlines of the local on-line “paper,” check the TV listings, read my three preferred comics, my two remaining “advice columnists,” and I’m done. I can do the whole thing in ten minutes flat.

My least favorite headline this morning was one that said, “Why you don’t need to exercise every day.” I did not read the article, just as I don’t read the ones that rip the whole notion of people getting 10,000 steps a day. It’s my exercise program, and I’m sticking to it, so there!!!

But this week, even with my news-filter firmly in place, I couldn’t help but learn that Donald Trump and someone named J.D. Vance were the Republican nominees for President and Vice President.

When I walk, outside, generally for at least a solid hour, it’s just “me, myself, and I,” as my mother would have said and my preferred pronouns. The dogs lie on the porch, watching me and they probably think I’m nuts, but while I’m walking, that’s what I’m doing—thinking.

Sometimes I’m thinking about the next scene in the book I’m working on, or else I’m thinking about fixing the one I wrote yesterday. Sometimes I’m watching the birds fighting over the suet blocks or just enjoying the flowers blooming in their various pots.

But the day after the Republican nominees were announced, I remember thinking, “How long before someone gets JD Vance mixed up with JA Jance. Turns out the answer is “Not long at all.”

Last night I received an apology email from a woman in New Mexico saying that when JD Vance was elected to serve in the Senate, she got him confused with me and stopped reading my books cold turkey. (Sort of like me and the news!)

She said that now that she’s become aware of the mixup, she’s back to reading my books. I wrote to her saying welcome back, all was forgiven, and no apology was necessary, but depending on how long Mr. Vance has been in the Senate, she has a lot of catch-up reading to do.

So in this blog I want to make my stand on this issue perfectly clear. JA JANCE IS NOT RUNNING FOR OFFICE. The only public position she is interested in maintaining is that of being a well-respected mystery and blog writer. You’re welcome to vote early and often.

By the way, as they say in all those dreary political commercials, “I’m J.A. Jance and I approve of this message.”