In 1981 when I first arrived in Seattle as a recent divorcée and single mom, I was employed in the life insurance industry. When I heard that my company would pay the majority of the tuition for a Dale Carnegie course devoted to winning friends and influencing people, I signed up. I did so on the assumption that taking the course would make me more successful in the field of insurance sales. Boy, was I wrong! In actual fact, taking the course was what prompted my LEAVING the insurance industry altogether and set me on the road to living my dream and writing books, but that’s a whole other story.
When I walked into class that first night, I was startled to learn that I had signed on for a course in public speaking. How would that make me better at selling Adjustable Whole Life? I immediately asked the leader how I could go about getting a refund and it turned out I couldn’t. If I took the course, my company would reimburse me for two thirds of the tuition. If I didn’t complete the course, the whole bill was on me. Bottom line? I completed the course.
The classes were built around Dale Carnegie’s writings, and one of the messages I took away from his books is still with me all these years later: MOST OF WHAT WE WORRY ABOUT NEVER HAPPENS!
So here we are in Tucson. In advance of coming down, I had looked at the weather reports and worried about how the upcoming bout of inclement weather would impact our travel. We flew down yesterday. Within minutes of leaving the ground, we were flying over a solid bank of low hanging clouds—a massive cloud cover that remained unbroken from the time we took off until we were within a hundred miles or so of Phoenix. Had we been driving, I’m sure we would have encountered difficulties, but we didn’t, so we didn’t. All that worry over nothing.
If you look at last week’s blog, you’ll see that I was agonizing over what we’d find when we got here. Would the well be working? It was. Would the TV/Internet system be working? It was. Would the fridge be working? It was. Would the gas log fireplaces be working? They are. Would the cars on the battery chargers run properly when we turned the keys? They did. Would the gate at the end of the driveway work? It did. In other words, all the things I worried about DID NOT HAPPEN!
And then there are the things that DID happen. The geraniums we planted in the pots on the patio before we left town last fall are thriving and blooming. The branches on the grapefruit tree outside our bedroom are heavily ladened. (There is nothing quite as sweet as a still sun-warm Texas Ruby grapefruit!) The sun is out. I’ll be doing most of my walking outside today and doing it with a grateful heart because life is good!
Years ago, people at a long-departed bookstore gifted me with a copy of Agatha Christie’s autobiography. In it, she recounted how each time she completed another book, she would find herself beset with self-doubt and would tell her bemused husband, “I shall never write another book. I have quite forgotten how to do it.” And then, days or weeks later, she would hear a door open and she would glimpse the beginning of her next book.
In the past few weeks, after completing Man Overboard, I’ve suffered some of the same doubts. Have I quite forgotten how to do it?
But this morning, in the clear light of day and with deep gratitude to the people at the Dale Carnegie Course, I can see that it’s time to stop worrying and get to work.
Writing Proof of Life will be good for J.P. Beaumont, and it’ll be good for J.A. Jance as well.
Stay tuned.
Good reminder. Too much time worrying about anything is wasted time. And most of what we worry about does not come to pass. It’s so much more fun to live in the present as it is than in fretting about what shoulda, coulda in the past or what might be in the future. There are blessings in abundance in any given moment. So grateful for writing and other writers who write about their experiences. This was a good early morning boost. Happy Friday, and good writing to you.
Patton said,”Never take council of your fears.” This was a timely post as I have been worried about weather we have to drive through on our move to Oklahoma in a couple weeks. Thanks for the reminder.
I call that unnecessary worrying “awfulizing,” or clearing away the wreckage of the future. I have spent far too much of my life indulging in this pastime. Thanks for the reminder and keep up the wonderful work!
Thank you, dear lady. In this time of worries aplenty, with social media constantly stoking the fire, your message was just what I needed to hear. My husband has on of Dale Carnegie’s books on his shelf. I think I’ll read it.
Just found your blog.. another reason to put off doing what I should be up and at.. needed to say hi from a South Dakotan who reads every book you write and can’t decide which she likes most. Please keep on writing — I NEED to know what happens to Ali and Joanna.. they live in my mind all the time. Reading keeps me having a reason to keep on living my old lady life.. now at 86 not too many years left so please keep it up.. thanks so much.
We do spend too much time worrying. We should worry about what might go right instead of what might go wrong. Glad everything worked out. Keep writing!!!
This post is perfect, as I sit here worrying about our son, who is flying here from “your” Seattle…. He flew there last week for an emergency construction job, never having flown before, and never having visited that coast. All week I have enjoyed looking at maps of where he was working, finding places mentioned in your books, which I will henceforth reread with a different understanding.
Great news. Except I am salivating over the thought of grapefruit but cannot eat it because I take statins. Sigh.
Glad all seems to have gone well. Hope you have a week at least of good weather to get settled in.
Once in a while things I worried about did come true. But one soldiers on. Perspective from older years and a flexible budget have helped!!!
Good luck.
Very glad you are going to overcome those self doubts and start on a JP novel.
Glad JP has returned for another visit with you. I have missed him.
I’m so happy to read that you are writing a new adventure for Beau. He’s my favorite detective altho he’s tied with Chief Inspector Reg Wexford, Ruth Rendell’s man. I should write that Beau is my favorite American detective.
I agree that worrying is an unnecessary activity, but I do a lot of it. The things that I have worried about the most never happened. I still wonder what I’ll do the day I win a lottery, but I probably should not worry about it.
Am glad that you are settled back in Tucson. Did the dogs fly at the same time you did? How do they like that adventure?
My boyfriend tells me all the time that I worry about things that I have no control over.Or I worry about things that I shouldn’t let worry me.But I have always been like that,worrying if certain kids in the neighborhood had food,or got Christmas presents,if my neighbors had to pay bills and was short I would buy things from them I didn’t need just to help them scrape up the money to pay them with. I guess the only thing I never worry about is my bills and dying.I stay in budget and as far as dying goes,well I can say I have enjoyed my life and have experienced it at its’ best and its’ worst.Yes worrying is a waste of time, and life is too short to waste time. I so love your books and never have to WORRY about not liking the next one I read.Thank you.