That’s one of the first songs I learned when I started in Brownies as a first grader:
Make new friends but keep the old
One is silver and the other gold.
Pat McAdams Hall, one of those gold friends, came to visit this week. The McAdams family moved to Bisbee the year Pat and I were both in fourth grade. By the time her dad, “Mac” McAdams went to work in the mines, my father had quit Phelps Dodge and launched companies of his own, the Warren Construction Company and Warren Redimix.
Pat’s house was less than a block from ours on Yuma Trail, but to get there you had to go down the passage between our fence and Mr. Corbett’s garage, through the Corbett’s yard, across Cole Avenue, past Harriet Smith’s house, and then into the McAdams’s carport. Because I once saw a rattlesnake in the western portion of our yard, walking past Mr. Corbett’s garage, especially at night, was always a breath-holding experience.
Pat and I became instant best friends and were pals all through grade school and high school. There were seven kids in our family. There were only two in hers, Pat and her younger brother, Ted. She had a bedroom all to herself, and we spent hours playing with paper dolls on the floor of that bedroom. This was long enough ago that one of those sets of paper dolls was devoted to Queen Elizabeth’s coronation. (A couple of years ago, Pat tracked down one of those sets on E-bay and gave it to me for my birthday!)
At Bisbee High we were in many classes together and in band as well. As juniors we were in Rachel Riggins’s Journalism class, and as seniors we were co-editors of the school paper, the Copper Chronicle.
When it came time for college, she went to NAU in Flagstaff while I attended the University of Arizona in Tucson. We saw each other through first boyfriends and first and second marriages. We worked our way through divorces together and saw the births of both kids and grandkids. And we shared the tragedy when, years apart, we both lost younger brothers. When it comes to tough times, she and I both know where all the bodies are buried.
In other words, we had a lot to talk about this week–mulling over old times, appreciating the way our parents raised us, reminiscing about the teachers we mistreated and the kids from our class who died before making it to their 21st birthdays. We also had plenty to say about the “old codgers” like us who are still around to remember “way back when.
We’re both over seventy years old. We’ve been friends for more than sixty of those years. We had a lot to talk about and it was great fun.
Thanks for coming, Pat, but I don’t envy your going home. Returning to Florida in the dead of August won’t be a walk in the park, and I don’t think I could do it.
I so agree! I lost contact with my best friend in grade school after I switched to a different school and reconnected many years later. We stay in touch regularly now and always enjoy the visit. Lots of history between us and great memories. I find it interesting, and inconvenient, that the two people I consider my best friends don’t use computers; must be why they get do much done!
My oldest friend and I went to kindergarten together and have been friends since. Not always close but friends.
We have always been lucky that our friends have been long term. I find its harder to make friends now at 68 than it was at 8.
Enjoy your week, with the year 3/4 over almost time for closet changing . Lol… Jan
I had a friend who was a classmate all my years of school. She lived on another farm a mile away, but we spent a lot of time together. Unfortunately she died a couple of years ago and there is no one to take her place. Old friends like this are the best.
Having had friends and a fine school experience I’m so sorry for the class members who can’t bring themselves to attend a reunion. Ever. Living the nearest. My sister among them.
I and even my hubby are thrilled to see those old friends. What makes it hard for others has more reasons, individually valid, than I might imagine. But I am sorry.
We are 78ish and dropping like flies so “do lunch” annually now.
Thanks to Facebook and an email round robin we’re closer than ever.
If nothing else, old friends keep us grounded and “equalized.”
Wish I’d had a long term childhood friendship like yours. Moving is tough for kids.
I am in touch on-line with a man I cannot remember life without! There was a long break in our lives but when we met up at the 55th class reunion, tears everywhere. The 60th was less emotional last year, but he reminded me of so many things. He had obviously been reminiscing! Having lost siblings and classmates, those who share memories are fewer and fewer.
So glad you still have your good friend.
My best friend from grammar school now lives in Sun City West and I’m in Casa Grande. Have been friends since 1954. We get together every so often and conversations just pick up where they left off. On one of my last visits to her home, she had found one other of our grammar school friends that just lives about 1 mile from her. The three of us really had a gab fest.
My best friend from school recently contacted me to say that she and her husband would be in Tucson in November. We were editors of our college literary magazine the year we graduated (1971). We haven’t seen one another in several years, but I know when we do all the years will slip away. I have had many friends here in Bisbee – some of whom are no longer with us – but seeing Anne will be wondeful. Thanks for sharing your story.
Facebook has provided the pathway for many of us to reconnect with friends we had lost touch with due to multiple moves. I am grateful for being able to keep up with technology, as many my age (70) have been left behind and are missing out. Our local library and senior center gives classes and provides access to computers so more can learn.
Thank you for sharing your story and for setting such a fine example for us!
Can’t wait for Downfall!
My mother always told me that if you could count on one hand the number of “true friends” you have in your life, you are truly blessed! I have had five, and two are now gone. One of the three left has been my friend for half a century! We see each other a few times a year but stay in touch through phone calls and texts! During football season we watch our Clemson Tigers on TV “together”; she in Florida and me in South Carolina! We constantly text about plays during the game! There is nothing like a true, dear, longtime friend! Glad you also have one and enjoyed time together. Mine will be here Thursday through Sunday for her Mom’s 90th birthday!
Just finished Random Acts had me in tears the whole time just couldn’t put it down .I love all your books but especially Joanna Brady & Ali Reynolds love the charters you gown to love the like family can’t wait for the next book
I have two “gold” friends that both live within walking distance. One has been my friend since 2nd grade (53 years and counting). My other friend is from high school and we both do aqua fitness together twice a week. I treasure both of these
friendships.
I have always envied people who had lifelong friends like you and Pat. I grew up in a . military family and we moved so often that friendships were fleeting. During my first year of college, I was taking a folk dancing class for PE credit. As the “new kid” I was assigned a partner. Lynn had 2 left feet and our friendship became fast with so much laughter. She became Godmother to my first born and even though we may not see each other for years at a time, we never lost touch. My best friend went to Jesus this last year and I miss her as much if not more than my brother.
Wonderful story!! I too have a friend like Pat! Glenda & I have been friends since we were 14 years old! We are as different as night & day! She is the outgoing social one and I am the quiet bookworm one!!! We bring out the best in each other. After 40+ years we can pick up like we were never apart! I’m very thankful for her friendship!
Diane (Shovel) Ham Johnston and I are the other long time friends from Bisbee. We met in second grade when she moved to Bisbee. Didn’t get to really know you Greenway girls until high school when all the grade schools finally came together. Poor Mrs. Riggins with the four of us in junior journalism! Diane left to be yearbook editor with Judy Adams, my other life long friend, but I was the advertising editor for the paper.
I was in Judy’s wedding twice, once when she and Joe married and again when they renewed their vows on their 25th. So soon after that she was gone.
Diane and I still see each other at least once a year even though we both lived in the Phoenix area. Like you and Pat we shared babies and now grand kids births.
Would love to see both you and Pat again.
I almost feel like I met old friends on your blog. Two Clemson Grads! They are few and far between here in Marysville, Washington. I do have a friend who spends every afternoon with me and tells me stories. I have learned a lot. She tells me about Beau, Joanna and Ali. I am 75 yrs. old and you have seen me thru numerous surgeries including a transplant. Thank you.
I enjoyed reading about Judy and Pat’s long time relationship. Twila was a super nice person as was Diane Ham Johnson. I went to church activities with Diane at times.
I also have a close relationship with two former Bisbee High students. We grew up in Bisbee and Carol Harris Reed and I became very close friends and moved to Safford about the same time. Also Linda Howard Riggs who was two years younger. I was born in Jiggerville and our house was moved to Saginaw as was Linda’s and we traded funny books all the time. Remember the era of kids trading funny books? Judy, I enjoy your books and hope to see you some time at a book signing. You were in Silver City, NM a couple of years ago, but I was unable to get there. Linda lives in Tucson now, so hopefully I will get over there and we can attend one of your book signings. Keep up the writing.