It’s midnight at the oasis. I’m sitting in a room populated by angels and Santa Clauses and poinsettias and candles. It’s a lovely room, and right now is the calm before the storm.
Tomorrow is my daughter’s birthday. The day after that we’ll be attending a Star-wars Preview. (My grandson, Colt, is ecstatic about that!) Saturday the clan will gather for our annual family Christmas celebration—Liljulaften, Little Christmas Eve. It’s an old Scandinavian custom that my mother put to good use when my first husband had to be with his mother every Christmas—NO EXCEPTIONS!!
From the time I could read newspapers, I loved reading the advice columns, most especially Ann Landers and Dear Abby. At the time, I had no idea that those two very wise columnists were actually sisters with a somewhat prickly sibling relationship. The thing is, I still read a whole selection of advice columns on a daily basis. (What better place than those to go looking for motives when it comes time to write my next murder mystery?)
Each year about this time, I read about one or more families who are being pulled this way and that by the old holiday tug-of-war—where do we go for Christmas—my parents or yours? And each time I read one of those letters, I wish those people had a mother as smart as Evie Busk was, a woman who, when encountering a line in the sand, said … well … screw it! Let’s just celebrate some other time.
She did. We did. And we still do. The big advantage of Liljulaften is that nobody else knows it’s there. It’s not a national holiday. If you forgot something you need for dinner or if an unexpected guest shows up and you need one more present? No problem. The stores are all open.
The kids come. The grandkids come. They’re welcome to stay on, but if they need to be somewhere else for Christmas itself? No problem. Vaya con Dios. They can be wherever else they need to be whenever they need to be there.
And then, once Liljulaften is over? We’ll be looking after our grandson while school is out. On Tuesday we celebrate our thirtieth wedding anniversary. After that there’s Christmas. And New Years.
It’s a season of one celebration after another. My mother used to say, “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken.” And I’m trying not to.
Still, December is daunting. And fun. And busy.
And, with any kind of luck, the Christmas cards will go out before the end of the week.
Very good advice. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
What lovely decorations. That room looks so inviting. The painting with the big orange article is a mystery to me. I’m not sure what it is. I think it is a person holding up a blanket, but am not sure.
I like the idea of having Christmas on another day. That should please everyone. I read the advice columns each day, too, and the troubles people have about the holiday continue to amaze me. Your mother had the right idea.
A very merry Liljulaften, birthday, anniversary, Christmas, and New Year to you and your family, J.A.
This year we’re having a very low-key Christmas due to my husband’s recent knee surgery and the complicated obligations of grown kids in far-flung, divorced families. But we’ll be gathering around our table for a jolly Boxing Day celebration with my step-son, his lovely girlfriend, some charming in-laws, and some good friends. We’re not British, but what the heck–we’ll take the holiday that works for us. Chicken curry extravaganza, here we come!
Congratulations on your annie! We feel much as your wise mother did. After years of watching family haggle over who’s going where, when, we let our house be the any-time-you-can-make-it sanctuary. And they all do, every year.
Merry Christmas from our farm to your home, and thanks for sharing your world.
Wow, even Wikipedia does not have Liljulaften. But I love the idea. No Scandinavian blood in our family.
https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilla_julafton “Swedish”
Not in English, sadly.
Lilla Julafton = Little Christmas Eve
But here’s in english
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pikkujoulu
Little Christmas = Pikkujoulu “Finnish”
Atleast how I would translate it.
Your decorations are lovely and I wish you and your family a Merry Liljulaften, a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!
We always celebrated holidays and birthdays whenever we could work it around my daughter’s visits with her dad and his parents. She’s almost 40 now and, now that I have moved from Houston to Mountlake Terrace, WA, this will be my first Christmas to spend with her since she and her husband moved here in 2005.
Please tell your daughter Happy Birthday for me. She was so sweet to visit with me at your book signing in Redmond this summer. I also enjoyed meeting your son and your adorable grandson Red Feather. Meeting you in person was a huge highlight since you have been a part of my life since 2005 when I first started reading your books.
By the way, the painting over your fireplace that Carolyn Ann asked about above looks like Coffee Pot Rock in Sedona to me. 🙂
You’re right. That is Coffee Pot Rock, painted by our friend ML Coleman.
Thanks for letting me know what the painting was. I enlarged the photo and still couldn’t figure it out. Sedona is one place I’ve wanted to go, but haven’t made it yet.
Merry Christmas and a very Happy Healthy 2016. Wedding anniversary congratulations . I am sure life is not what you expected all those years ago! My mother finally switched the celebration with the kids/grandkids etc to the Sunday before Christmas. Those oldest grandkids are in their 70s and still talk about it! My mom’s Christmas Tree cookies! My daughter has 4. They have other family obligations and she just continues to have the ones she has always had. Her kids all live locally and try and get there sometime on Christmas. Christmas eve is church and dinner with my daughter’s father and his wife. Christmas Eve has been his time for 50 years! Sometimes I join them. Everyone does Christmas am with their own families. The best part is technology. People can shop on-line. Kids do facetime with grandma! Even the 16 month old. My son-in-law jokes and says he thought the kids were supposed to pull away after they left home. The beauty of it is that friends of my granddaughters who live out of state who are home for Christmas make sure to “drop” in too. During the lean years, there was always lots of love, love, love. May all your readers be blessed.
We have been celebrating Liljulaften without even know it! Ever since we have been coming to Tucson for the winter we have celebrated our family Christmas, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. A couple weeks prior I put up the tree and a few other items of décor, that come down the following day, and we head south. It feels like our traditional Christmas of the past, including filled stockings ,the table brimming with yummy food, and most importantly celebrating together.
My husband works on Alaska’s north slope with a year round 2 week on/2 wk off rotation, so whatever holidays he might be home for are random. He flew north on Tuesday of this week, so we had Christmas Day last Saturday & it was lovely & peaceful. Thanksgiving was a week early as well. When loved ones are gone, you just celebrate your holidays whenever they are home with you! (Other oilfield families all over Alaska do this too. The people are important, not the date!! ??)
(Those question marks are supposed to be a heart…)
May I suggest stopping the Christmas card tradition? Over the years, I learned that if I sent a card, I received one. I decided that if someone was a part of my life, I should not have to initiate the contact.
I sent one card this year, to the woman who calls me her sister by another mother.
I send a Christmas letter by email. Why, you ask? Because I only have email addresses for those people who are a part of my life, on an ongoing basis, who actually want to hear from me. Merry Christmas, J. A. Jance, from one Cochise County girl to another.
Wow! You have a very busy calendar. Congratulations on your 30th Anniversary. I so agree with you on spreading out the holiday celebration, so there is room for everyone! Best wishes for a joyous New Year!
Your Mom sounds as great as mine! She was also my best friend – even after nearly 30 years, I still miss her. We’d gather around and sing as she played Christmas songs. This will be a low-key Christmas in Bisbee, with family in other places. Yet my Bisbee “family” is also precious to me. Best of the season to all.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, Having a wise mother is a wonderful . Knowing she is wise is SMART. I didn’t get that smart until I was older. One of the things,she used to say was that you can handle anything for 1 hour. That one got me thru a lot of Dr. App.
As a family we always had Christmas on Christmas eve. MY HUSBAND’S family also had Christmas on Christmas eve. Thank goodness they lived close. We solved that by moving to Seattle from California. I know it was a weird way to solving a problem but if we had stayed in California we would not have made it to 45 years. Lol two Mom’s advice sometimes backfire.
Have a MERRY Christmas , Happy Birthday and Happy Happy Anniversary.. Jan
Your December is chock-full and then some. I wish all of you the very best on each and every occasion.
I love all your books, I am sometimes inpatient on when the next book comes out. Keep the stories coming. Love you J.A Jance
WOW, just got your e-mail, once again someone in this great nation has to be politically correct! But I still love reading your blog and your books. Happy Anniversary! My husband and I are celebrating our 28th year today December 23. Keep up the good work. Kris
That is exactly how our very small family celebrates Christmas. And the main reason why t came about was the seven of us have/had different schedules. We usually knew by Thanksgiving when we could meet up for our Christmas celebration. This year it is Boxing Day for the weekend.
No pressure!! Merry Christmas!!!