Do the words “Rode hard and put up wet” ring any bells? That’s Bill and I as we drive north on I-5 through northern California.
Earlier today, after leaving Napa, we spent 45 minutes traveling five miles in a backup on I-80 where a collision with a half-mile long debris field had four lanes of traffic coned down to one. Later, when we stopped for our Burger King two-for-one coupon Whopper, Bill exited the car and locked it while Bella and I were still inside. When I opened the door, the alarm went off. I managed to silence it, but in a way that turned off the automatic door openers. Fortunately, several months ago, when the car battery was dead, a manager at the Speedway Enterprise location in Tucson showed us how to liberate the old fashioned non-electric keys that are hidden in the electronic fob. So we managed to get into the car, finally.
Then, in the process of getting to the gas station across the street, the GPS went flying off the dashboard and landed on the floor. When I picked it up to put it back, I must have punched a wrong button, one that made the lady in the machine want to send us back the way we had come.
By the time we were back on I-505, we were both grousing at one another, and that’s unusual. Most of the time we travel the highways and byways with barely a ripple in our little sea of amenity. What the grousing really means is that we’re tired. The driver is tired. Bella is tired. And the author is definitely tired.
According to the odometer, in two days under three weeks, we have traveled 2,478 miles. I’ve done 27 hour long presentations and signed countless books. Any number of people have told Bella how cute she is. Bill has kept us moving safely through a spiderweb of strange (to us) California freeways. You really do need to be born in Oakland to fathom how to get around there.
We’ve managed to adjust our luggage so we can get in and out of hotels in a single trip. That takes plenty of advance planning. As for hotels? We’ve seen plenty of those. I don’t understand why they give you tiny plastic bags for ice and then put the button on the ice-machine in a place where you can’t hold the bag and press the button at the same time.
I’m ready to be home in our own chairs where our clicker will allow us to fast-forward through commercials; where I’ll know which side of the room contains the door to the bathroom; where Bella will not have to be walked on a leash; where we’ll have access to our own coffee machine.
Yes, book tours may sound glamorous, but there’s a whale of a lot of nitty-gritty that goes along with book touring. I’m ready for this one, the Cold Betrayal tour, to be over. The problem is, my other publicity team is already working hard to set up the next one for Dance of the Bones.
I remember how my mother used to say, “There’s no rest for the wicked.”
Based on that, Bill, Bella, and I, must be really BAD!
Or, really, really good at what you do!
Hope you can get some good rest soon!
Well, all your hard work really does pay off….we so enjoyed your presentation last night at Annie Bloom’s. My drive to see you was less exhausting than the one you took to see us! On the way home, I had to wait 25 minutes in the tiny town of Dundee while a monstrous crane was being moved from the middle of the only road through town. But, I was only four cars back, and enjoyed the show!! Take care, and bless you!
I remember hearing both of those sayings! It’s rare to hear anyone use the “Rode hard and put up wet” around here. Hope you can get some well-deserved rest now. Know that all your readers truly appreciate the effort you (and Bill and Bella) make to go on the road so we can see you.
Your,(both of you), hard work is appreciated by your readers. Your books have been great thus far, and am always excited to find one that I havent read yet. Safe travels.
Rest up! I am looking forward to seeing you again next week in Olympia!
I am so sorry that the book tours harder work than the writing. You are magnificent at writing. I wish I could give you a some magic potion that would easily transport you to where you want to be. Other than your own patio, where is the most relaxing place for you? I wish you there for three days, you and Bill and Bella deserve a treat.
I enjoyed hearing you speak last night at Annie Bloom’s bookstore. May you find, in the near future, the much needed rest and relaxation that you’ve earned and that you deserve. I look forward to reading more of your books…as soon as you write them :).
Hey, at our house, we would read your books even if you became as reclusive as Marcel Proust was. Just keep on telling good stories. Anyway, I just gotta love a down-to-earth writer who uses the “two for one coupons” at Burger King. Used several of those myself at a Tucson BK.
I agree with Nancy. If at any time you want to end or greatly cut down on book tours, I’m sure everyone would understand. Authors didn’t used to do them so why couldn’t you stop? Your health is the important thing. We will read you even tho we don’t see you out and about.
My mother grew up in Central Oregon, the next to youngest of 6 children. She was born in 1918 to parents born less than 30 years after the (un)Civil War, both of whom were attuned to horses (and mules); my grandmother remarried after widowhood to a man who was a “mustanger.” The expression “rode hard and put away wet” was a sour comment on wastrel horsemanship as well as an expression of malaise. (Gads, I’m terribly literate, lately. Apologies!)
I fully understand your condition. Here’s to a good long restful time soon, with all affection.
Sounds like quite the tour this time; you, your husband and Bella have earned a rest for a bit before the next one begins, for sure!! Can’t wait to see/hear you tomorrow at Fairwinds in Redmond. My mom is a resident there. I have seen you several times at the Mystery Bookshop in Seattle.
Have a restful evening.
Sorry we could not make your local appearance! As a token of my apology, I can shed some light on the ice machine and the little bag. You are supposed to open the bag and place it in the ice bucket as a liner. It will then stand on its own while you reach for the button. If they don’t provide a bucket make Bill choose a better class hotel.
My daughter and I enjoyed your visit to Olympia at SPSCC . It is fun to put a face to your writings and enjoy your humor. Missed seeing Bill and Bella. Hope that all of you get some rest and relaxation real soon. We will see you next time you are in our town or close by.
Carol