In May of 2006 our son-in-law, Jon, was in the U of W Hospital in the final months of his ten year battle with malignant melanoma. At the time he was still active duty Coast Guard. Someone who had connections to both the Coast Guard and the Seahawks made arrangements for the Seahawks’ then quarterback, Matt Hasselbeck, to come to the hospital for a visit.
It was supposed to be a half hour photo op. It turned into a two hour visit. There were photos of course–with Jon, our daughter, and our grandson who was a babe in arms at the time. There were also photos with various doctors and nurses. Most of the time, however, Matt spent alone in the room with Jon where they talked about sports, family, and faith. It was one of the few bright spots in Jon’s last tough months.
Two years later, shopping at the PX at Fort Lewis (It was still Fort Lewis back then!) my daughter saw that Matt and another Seahawks star were there that afternoon for a fan visit. She put Colt on her hip and got in line. The handlers went up and down the line saying that this was a photo op only. No visiting. Get in and get out.
When it was our daughter’s turn, she stepped forward and said to Matt, “I don’t know if you remember me, but…”
Matt stood up, hugged her, and said, “Of course, I remember you, and look how your baby has grown!”
Wow! When Matt came to Jon’s hospital room, he wasn’t just going through the motions. He didn’t phone it in. He was there, present and involved. Ever since that visit, our family has owed Matt Hasselbeck a huge debt of gratitude, and we’ve been doing our best to pay it back.
That’s why, several years ago, when a fan in Bellingham was in such frail condition that she couldn’t make it to a signing, Bill and I set up a separate appointment and spent an hour visiting with her in the lobby of our hotel.
It’s also why, earlier this fall on the Second Watch tour, Bonnie and I took a detour between signings and spent an hour visiting with a woman named Cindy who was in the final stages of her battle with breast cancer. It was an interesting visit, with Bonnie’s Bernese Mountain Dog, Crackerjack, taking up a major amount of floor space in Cindy’s daughter’s family room and with Bella, in full meerkat pose, stalking the daughter’s perplexed parakeet. (The cage protected the bird, but I’m afraid the water in the cage came to grief.) On Saturday I heard from one of the woman’s friends, telling me that Cindy had lost her battle, but that she had spent the days and weeks after our visit telling her friends all about it.
By the way, when someone is dealing with cancer, people are often reluctant to visit because they have no idea what to say. When we went to visit Cindy, we didn’t talk about the Big C. Not once. We talked about the dogs; about my books; about the traveling Cindy had done. The point is to BE THERE!!!
All of which brings us to the middle of last week when my son, Tom, the philosopher/chef behind the blog, Romancing the Bone, sent me an e-mail asking for help. It seems that a friend of his, Laura, has a boyfriend named Marion who is currently fighting a year long battle with glioblastoma. It turns out Marion is a huge fan of Charlie Sheen, and Laura was hoping to set up a personal visit from Charlie.
My first thought? Good luck with that, but with Matt Hasselbeck in my heart, I fired off an email to the FOUR Hollywood folks I have listed in my database, explaining the situation. That is four only! One of them, Jack Bernstein, is a retired film producer.
Jack, Bill, and another friend, Alan, a retired halibut fisherman, were beginning golfers together in the mid-nineties. Somewhere around here there’s a poster with a photo of the Three Stooges decked out in 30s era golf attire. That pretty well covers the reality of their golfing exploits. Eventually Jack and Sunny left Seattle to return to southern California.
You’ve probably all heard of six degrees of separation–the idea that each person on the planet is only six people away from any other person. When I sent those four notes off, I had no idea, not a clue, that one of Jack’s daughters has, for the past 25 years, been best friends with Charlie Sheen’s publicist. Jack got on the stick and put the wheels in motion!
On Sunday, as our family gathered at John Howie to celebrate Second Watch’s appearance on the NYTimes list, a text came on Tom’s phone telling us that at that very moment Charlie Sheen was on the phone with Marion. Not only did he call, he invited both of them to fly over from Arizona to visit him on the set of his show, throwing first class air and hotel accommodations into the bargain as well!!
As of Tuesday of this week, Charlie expanded the invitation to include Marion’s assistant/caregiver to help assist with travel logistics. (Anyone who has ever traveled with someone who is critically ill knows what a challenge that can be for all concerned.) They flew on Wednesday and visit the set of Anger Management today. Laura has sent a note that their penthouse accommodations are bigger than her house. So far it has all come off without a hitch, how amazing is that?!
All I can say is THANK YOU ONE AND ALL! Thank you, Jack. And a HUGE thank you to Charlie Sheen.
Charlie made the call. Like Matt Hasselbeck, he didn’t just phone it in. He did more than that, way more!! And now there is now a clear connection between Charlie Sheen and Matt Hasselbeck.
I can truly say, as I did at the beginning of this blog, sometimes what goes around comes around and in a very good way!
Amazing how many good people are out there! We generally only hear the bad comments, exploits. Thank you for the upbeat blog, today. Congratulations, also, for being on the top 10 book list. I did my part! Loved the book.
What a great story all the way around. There are so many good people in the world and it’s nice to heard the good instead of the bad as we do so much.
It is nice to see such an uplifting post. I’m grateful your son-in-law had such a special experience with somebody who really cared. The ‘pay it forward’ idea certainly applies in this case. I believe the universe does give back to good people, we just don’t always hear about it. I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving, filled with everything good you richly deserve.
The ministry of ‘Presence’ is very powerful!
Uplifting story. You need to also take some credit for getting everything started.
Hi People are wonderful.. I’ve always been a fan of Charlie Sheen.. Now that I know more about him I’m an even bigger fan . Love Second Watch and always love Beaumont.. Thank you for another wonderful book Your Friend Always
Tears after reading your blog. Why, two reasons, we lost our precious Cinnamon, our Australian shepherd of seven years to a serious medical problem. And also because of your story of caring people, who made someone’s life better. You , Judith, are one of those caring people, and the story goes on and on. Many people do care don’t they.
Well, isn’t that special, said with not one bit of sarcasm. I bet there are a lot of things that people in the limelight do that we never hear of. Like the old song goes, bad news travels like wildfire, good news travels slow. The internet helps the good news go a little faster. Good on ya, Charlie!
What a wonderful experience all the way around. Last month my husband’s brain surgery became more intense than expected, we were blessed that it was not cancer but still created havoc in our lives. Lee spent 3 weeks, 2 of them in ICU and then another 3 weeks in a rehab facility. Instead of choosing on focusing on his problems we chose to pass his recovery over to our Heavenly Father and when he was not resting we did our best to be there for several other patients. By being there for them and keeping them smiling and laughing we know it helped ease their recovery as several of them left before we did. We also did our best to make things easier on the staff. Their jobs are not easy for them either. We could not help with their formal duties but could refill water cups, push them to the dining room and help with other issues that did not deal with patient care. I can’t explain fully how satisfying it was to help. These patients in recovery centers are often lonsome, many may not have family in the area to visit and talk and they can be so scared by what is happening to them. Having someone to sit and talk to them can make the day better. You are wonderful to have helped to give them an opportunity to share the gift.
Loved your blog story here. It was great to read something good about Charlie Sheen and I thank him for taking such an interest in a very sick person. Our 40 year old son lost his battle to malignant melanoma on May 11, 2013. When I read your comment about visiting cancer patients and what to say, I had to smile. As a family, we took turns staying with our son while his wife was at work. I would be so amused at the people coming to visit him. He was blessed with many friends of all ages, but I would watch them coming to the door and they were walking at a fast clip. As they approached his bed, they would walk slower and slower. I could just see the dread they were facing at what to say to him. Many of them would say, “How are you?” His comment at the end was always the same, “Well, I’m dying, how are you?” I also know that he especially enjoyed discussing the Chicago cubs (he was a huge fan) as well as discussing recipes (he loved to cook) and hearing about books people were reading (he worked for our local library). I know the heartache of watching someone you love dearly succumb to death but I also know there are blessings along that path. Loved Second Watch and have read the complete Beaumont series. I’m reading Ali Reynolds now and enjoying it thoroughly. Thank you so much for sharing today.
Thank you for sharing this experience with us. Not only is it wonderful to hear about the good deeds people, in the moment of fleeting fame, take time to provide but it is also wonderful to read a postive story about Charlie Sheen. All around WINNING!
What a heartwarming story. My 2nd husband also died of a melanoma in nov 2002.
Unfortunately he did not get many visitors because no one knew what to say to him and mentioned to me they wanted to remember him the way he was not how bad he looked when he was sick.
Its so nice to hear of a celebrity that will take time out of their busy lives to get to someone who is in need.
Thanks so much for passing along. Keep on writing the wonderful books. Loved the times i’ve seen you in person and i’ve read everyone of your books. Love getting your blogs also
From the blog and from the thread, I can see that melanoma touches far too many families. WEAR SUNSCREEN!!!