For the first time in weeks, I’m not sitting outside watching the bird block over the top of my computer.\u00a0 It’s too windy.\u00a0 And cold.\u00a0 In Tucson.\u00a0 On the first of May.\u00a0 (By the way, I’m aware all of those previous phrases are sentence fragments.\u00a0 The grammar checker in the computer is going to warn me about them.\u00a0 But I’m feeling like writing sentence fragments today.\u00a0 So get used to it!)<\/p>\n
Some of first blog posting I did was during the tough time when our son-in-law, Jon Jance, was losing his nine year battle with melanoma.\u00a0 He had served in the US Marine Corps and the US Coast Guard.\u00a0 He was a young man of great courage, humor, and love.\u00a0 Those early blogs aren’t accessible through the website archives.\u00a0 If you’re interested in reading some of them, you’ll find them below, including my posting after Jon’s funeral called: Respect Must Be Paid.<\/p>\n
Jon’s way of dealing with cancer was to fight it tooth and nail every step of the way.\u00a0 After being given an initial prognosis of five years max, he hung in for nine.\u00a0 In hopes of helping others he signed up for every protocol that was offered him by Dr. Thompson and Dr. Byrd at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance and the University of Washington Medical Center.\u00a0 He was excited to be offered a spot in Dr. Yee’s T-cell protocol, even though the ticket to get in was having your oncologist say you were terminal.\u00a0 That T-cell protocol, where Jon was Patient # 6, gave him and our daughter two extra years together.\u00a0 We also have Dr. Yee to thank for our now eight-year old grandson, Colt.<\/p>\n
So why am I writing about Jon this morning on a windy and dusty May morning in Tucson?\u00a0 Because we’re having company for dinner tonight, our neighbors from across the street, Bonnie and Randy.\u00a0 We met them for the first time four years ago when we invited several of our neighbors over for our Janis Ian living room concert.<\/p>\n
Randy and Bonnie came that night, but they didn’t stay long after the concert.\u00a0 Bonnie was frail at the time.\u00a0 She’d been given a fourth stage melanoma diagnosis, and she was undergoing chemo.\u00a0 She came with her bald head wrapped in a pink scarf and with a shawl draped around her shoulders.\u00a0 Now she’s BACK!<\/p>\n
Bonnie’s melanoma has responded well to the T-cell treatment that Jon helped pioneer.\u00a0 She’s in remission.\u00a0 It breaks our daughter’s heart that the treatment didn’t put Jon in remission, but she rejoices that it’s working for Bonnie, because helping people like Bonnie is exactly what Jon would have wanted.\u00a0 Our daughter continues to donate to the Melanoma Foundation every year.\u00a0 (She also makes sure Colt doesn’t venture out of the house without sunblock!)\u00a0 Bonnie participates in the Melanoma Awareness Walks here in Tuscon sponsored by the Skin Cancer Institute of the University of Arizona.\u00a0 During the walks Bonnie carries a banner with Jon’s name on it. (Guess which melanoma walk we support?)<\/p>\n
So tonight Bonnie and Randy are coming for dinner.\u00a0 I had thought we’d spend some time sitting out on the patio.\u00a0 Maybe not, due to the wind, but the one thing I am sure of is this.\u00a0 Sometime in the course of the evening we’ll be raising a glass in honor of Jon and Jeanne T. and Bonnie and Randy–for the patients and for the loved ones who have their patients’ backs.<\/p>\n
May is National Melanoma Awareness month.\u00a0 Time to reup your supply of sunblock.\u00a0 Time to make an appointment and have that mole on the back of your shin checked out by a dermatologist because early detection is critical.\u00a0 And for anyone out there reading this who may end up being given that dreaded fourth stage melanoma diagnosis?\u00a0 Take heart.\u00a0 Your life isn’t over until it’s over–due to people like Jon Jance and Bonnie Emerson!<\/p>\n
PS: \u00a0Below I am attaching a few of those very early blogs because some of you, who weren’t necessarily following my postings early on, may be interested in reading them.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Yes, this morning Dead Wrong is on the NYTimes<\/em> list, and I\u2019m back home from the tour, but it\u2019s not a time of rejoicing.<\/p>\n Our son-in-law, Jon Jance, lost his long battle with malignant melanoma this week.\u00a0 Those of you who have fought your own wars with the Big C know what a mixture of both sorrow and relief we\u2019re feeling at the moment.<\/p>\n One very real blessing in our lives is the existence of Jon and Jeanne T’s little last-minute miracle, Colt Stephen Jance, who is now eight months old.<\/p>\n With services scheduled for later this week, my appearance at Title Wave in Anchorage has been canceled and will be rescheduled for a later date<\/p>\n For all of you who made contributions to the Cancer Fighting Flamingo Relay for Life Team over the years, please know that we are now within spitting distance of making Jeanne T’s original goal of Seventy Five (thousand) in Five (years).\u00a0 Thank you.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Yesterday the obituary for Jon Jance appeared in the local papers. (Go to seattletimes.com. Find Obituaries. And then enter Jance in the search line.\u00a0 If I were more computer literate, I could come up with a real link, but there you are.)\u00a0 Several people have written to ask why, since Jon was our son-in-law, was his last name listed as Jance?\u00a0 That would be because Jon took our daughter\u2019s name when they married. He was one of a kind!<\/p>\n Last night was the memorial service.\u00a0 It played to a packed house at the Coast Guard Station on Pier 36.\u00a0 When Jeanne T. and Jon got married, the rehearsal dinner was delayed three hours by a bank robbery followed by a high-speed chase that ended three blocks from the venue of the rehearsal dinner.\u00a0 Last night\u2019s memorial service was delayed over an hour due to police activity surrounding a bomb scare on Pier 18.<\/p>\n Hollis Williams, the Episcopal priest who presided over their wedding and spoke at the memorial service, said that wherever Jon and Jeanne T. were concerned, there was always a kicker.<\/p>\n Also speaking at the service was my good friend, UMC Bishop Mary Ann Swenson, who presided over Jon and Jeanne T\u2019s renewal of vows three years ago on the occasion of their fifth anniversary. (Mary Ann and her husband, Jeff, were the real life models for my fictional Marianne Maculyea and Jeff Daniels in the Joanna Brady books. She said it was strange meeting so many strangers who were convinced they knew her.)\u00a0 She spoke lovingly of Jon\u2019s humor and his love of life.<\/p>\n Jon\u2019s old Executive Officer spoke about coming to the Seattle Coast Guard Station and being told, \u201cJon Jance has been dealing with cancer for several years.\u00a0 He probably won’t be around much longer, but time and again, often still bandaged from his latest round of surgery or whatever, Jon will be back at his desk.\u201d<\/p>\n I have to say here that the fact that the Coast Guard wanted him back was an integral part of Jon\u2019s battle.\u00a0 He wanted to be back at work because he knew he was needed.<\/p>\n Then Jeanne T. stood up and asked the doctors and nurses in attendance to please come forward.\u00a0 There were a good dozen or so of the good people from floor 7-SE, the cancer floor, of the University of Washington Medical Center.<\/p>\n Jeanne T. called them forward one at a time–two doctors and ten nurses.\u00a0 She introduced them by name and told a story about each one.\u00a0 When she finished, they all received a standing ovation. (One of the nurses told me later that had never happened to her before.)<\/p>\n But the point is, all of those folks have been involved in Jon and Jeanne T\u2019s lives and battle for a long, long time.\u00a0 JTJ was always Jon\u2019s ambassador to the medical community.\u00a0 Yes, he fought a difficult and tenacious battle, but it was Jeanne T\u2019s people skills and kindness which helped bring the care of all those very talented medical practitioners to bear on Jon\u2019s health situation.<\/p>\n Jon was a thirty-something, and it was a thirty-something memorial service, complete with humorous eulogies and a touching music-accompanied slide show.\u00a0 It was a celebration of Jon\u2019s life and of Jon and Jeanne T\u2019s lives together, with Colt crowing and gurgling in the background.<\/p>\n Jon\u2019s service to his country, in both the Marine Corps and the Coast Guard, was a vital part of his life.\u00a0 The photos of him in his various uniforms were wonderful.\u00a0 He loved being in the honor guard, and I loved the fact that an honor guard and a bag-piper were there for him at the memorial.<\/p>\n What struck me most about the slide show and the memorial service was the fact that so many of the faces in all of them were so familiar–the faces of people who came and stuck.\u00a0 The same people who were there for the wedding and the parties and the renewal of vows were also the ones who were there at the Relay for Life walks and in the hospital and hospice waiting rooms as well.\u00a0 They’re the faces of good people.\u00a0 They say you have to be a friend to have a friend.\u00a0 Clearly Jon Jance was a good FRIEND.<\/p>\n The graveside ceremony will be tomorrow at the Munro Serviceman\u2019s Memorial in Cle Elum–where Jon did his final re-enlistment with the Coast Guard.\u00a0 And after that?\u00a0 We\u2019ll come back to the house, with all those same good friends, and have a party.\u00a0 What could be more appropriate?<\/p>\n Jon was always concerned about others.\u00a0 He knew I was struggling to finish writing a book during these last few difficult months.\u00a0 Every time I saw him, he wanted to know how many words I had written and how many more I still needed to write.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t manage to finish the book before Jon left us, but the last three chapters went to New York yesterday morning.<\/p>\n Yes, Jon. We both got \u2018er done.<\/p>\n Yesterday I attended my first \u201cwith honors\u201d military funeral.\u00a0 We drove over the mountains from Bellevue to Cle Elum, Washington, to the Douglas C. Munro National Servicemen\u201ds Gravesite.\u00a0 Douglas Munro was a Coastie, and the site of the service was the one Jon chose.\u00a0 He did his first U.S. Coast Guard Honor Guard duties there, and that\u2019s also where he reenlisted for the last time.<\/p>\n The cemetery is a beautiful, tree lined spot just off the freeway.\u00a0 I was struck by the group of butt-sprung old veterans from the local VFW chapter who surrounded the gathering, standing respectfully at attention, rifles on shoulders.\u00a0 They spoke fondly and with creaking voices, of fallen comrades who have defended their country.\u00a0 I was equally struck by the contingent of very young Coasties who gently carried Jon\u2019s flag-draped coffin from the hearse to the grave site.<\/p>\n I was not prepared for the 21-gun salute. (Neither was Colt.\u00a0 He burst into tears and refused to be comforted.)\u00a0 I was not prepared for my reaction to the playing of Taps. (Colt loved it.\u00a0 I cried like a baby.)\u00a0 I was not prepared for my reaction to the bag-piper playing Amazing Grace.\u00a0 (Colt loved it.)\u00a0 I was not prepared for my reaction to the two young women Coasties carefully folding the flag from the casket.\u00a0 That one got to me so much that I have no idea how Colt reacted.<\/p>\n At the grave site, we all tossed flowers–fire and ice roses, the same flowers Jeanne T. carried in her wedding bouquet. (Colt tried to eat his.)\u00a0 Jon and Jeanne T\u2019s dogs, Kensie and Angel, were there to say their good-byes as well.\u00a0 They stood by the coffin with their tails wagging.\u00a0 Did they know?\u00a0 I\u2019m sure they did.<\/p>\n I was busy thanking the VFW guys.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t see Jon’s uniformed friend and fellow Coastie, Steve Lincoln, give his final salute as the coffin was lowered.\u00a0 I think I\u2019m glad I missed it.<\/p>\n And then we drove back here to the house and had a barbecue\/swimming party. (Colt loved it, and I think Jon would have, too.)\u00a0 I think the young people could have gone on swimming for hours and hours, but the older generation, me included, was running out of steam.\u00a0 The party shut down about nine PM or so.<\/p>\n The memorial service was one thing, with its mixture of laughter and tears–which is how memorial services are supposed to be–full of memories.\u00a0 The funeral was something else.\u00a0 Jon’s service to his country was so much a part of his life, that it was only fitting that respect should be paid.<\/p>\n It was.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For the first time in weeks, I’m not sitting outside watching the bird block over the top of my computer.\u00a0 It’s too windy.\u00a0 And cold.\u00a0 In Tucson.\u00a0 On the first of May.\u00a0 (By the way, I’m aware all of those previous phrases are sentence fragments.\u00a0 The grammar checker in the computer is going to warn […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3nsBA-8Z","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/557","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=557"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/557\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":559,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/557\/revisions\/559"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=557"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=557"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=557"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\u00a0We Got ‘er Done<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Thursday, August 17, 2006<\/em><\/h3>\n
Respect Must Be Paid<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Saturday, August 19, 2006<\/em><\/h3>\n