This has been an odd week. The manuscript for Collateral Damage went to New York on Monday. Now it\u2019s the long wait, holding my breath, waiting to hear what my new editor is going to say. In other words, it\u2019s the literary equivalent of postpartum depression. I\u2019m familiar with that, because I\u2019ve had it before\u2014both kinds.<\/p>\n
First let\u2019s address the real thing. That happened in 1974 after the birth of my second child who came by way of an emergency Caesarian. Things were tough financially at our house, and the marriage wasn\u2019t exactly going swimmingly, either. My son was born in May. By September, I had a live-in babysitter and a full-time job selling life insurance that often required my going on evening appointments. Eventually it also led to my having to work out of town three days a week. As I drove to those evening appointments, I would see families sitting down and eating their meals together, something I doubted our family would ever have. Most of the time, coming and going, I would cry the whole way, stopping to fix my makeup before going inside.<\/p>\n
My district manager\u2019s office was in Longview, Washington. One night, after my last appointment, I stopped by the bar at the Huntington Hotel, had four stiff drinks, and then drove home to PeEll on fifty miles or so of back roads. The next morning I woke up with a terrible hangover and a tough realization. What I had done the night before had been beyond stupid. What if I had died? Who would take care of my two very young children? That very day, I hied to Centralia to see a counselor. During the appointment, I poured out my heart to him\u2014telling him about my situation\u2014two small children, a demanding job, and a drunk for a husband. He listened, gave me a prescription for anti-depressants, and sent me on my way.<\/p>\n
I took the pills, but nothing changed. The following week I went back for my second appointment, hoping to hear some words of wisdom. \u201cWell, he said, you have two problems in your family–your husband\u2019s drinking of course, and your women\u2019s lib. You know, you\u2019re very ambitious.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is it?\u201d I demanded, \u201ca disease?\u201d<\/p>\n
He allowed as how ambition in women was a real problem. Let\u2019s just say I left his office in a towering rage. (At six-one, believe me, I can do towering rages!) I flushed his anti-depressants down the first toilet I found, and I haven\u2019t been clinically depressed even once ever since. I believe now that that sudden surge of fury that rushed through my body caused a chemical reaction that actually reset whatever was going on in my brain at the time. And I have to hand it to the psychologist\u2014he cured me completely in only two visits. That particular cure may not work for everyone, but being boiling mad in his office certainly worked for me.<\/p>\n
So now on to the literary version of postpartum depression. Agatha Christie once said that after finishing one book she always felt as though she would never write another. I often feel the same way, although, right this moment, I have a teeny-tiny seed of a story that\u2019s bouncing around inside my little gray cells that may end up coming to fruition.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, I\u2019ve watched a lot of TV–The Formula 1 race from Australia, the Masters from Augusta, and lots and lots of \u201cblood and guts\u201d show, which is how Bill refers to the true crime programs that dominate the saved shows on our DVR. But two real bright spots came to me via email this past week. One was from a man who had just finished reading Nothing to Lose. He said that \u201cAlthough J.P. Beaumont may be getting older, he hasn\u2019t lost his sense of duty and purpose.\u201d That\u2019s how I think of him, too. And I was delighted to have that belief affirmed by one of my readers.<\/p>\n
In a previous blog, I spoke about how at the beginning of the pandemic, I introduced two of my devoted fans to one another. They both lived in Tucson and had husbands in hospitals with non-Covid related conditions. The three of us became an inadvertent on-line support group, something that has continued to this day. We called it the Circle, and eventually two more women were added to the list. By the way, during the Tucson Festival of Books, three of us, Janice Molina, Valerie Golembowski, and I were actually able to sit down and share a meal together.<\/p>\n
But this past week, when I was at a low point, Valerie sent me a piece she had written, and I\u2019m including it here. It\u2019s a vignette that includes three characters you\u2019ll all recognize:<\/p>\n
\u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHello, Sheriff Brady. This is Beau. How ya\u2019 been?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine, Beau. How are you? What\u2019s up?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, just wanted to let you know that JA\u2019s been laid up here in Seattle.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joanna Brady sat down at the kitchen table, snuggling the cordless phone against her ear while she aimed another spoonful of oatmeal into baby Sage’s mouth. \u201cIs she all right? What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust some minor surgery. She\u2019s already home from the hospital, but I thought she could use some visitors. Are you up to it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have some vacation time built up, and Butch wants me to use it,\u201d she said, wiping a dribble of cereal from Sage\u2019s face. \u201cI think I can persuade him to watch the kids for a couple of days. What\u2019d you have in mind?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI left a message with Ali. If it’s okay with you folks, I can make some reservations. Ali will probably have to take US Airways from Flag and you can hop aboard an AA flight from Tucson. How does that sound?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds good to me. I could leave on Friday.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood! I\u2019ll confirm with Ali and get back to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBeau, let me call Ali. I haven\u2019t spoken to her in a while and it\u2019ll be good to catch up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay. Let me know if Friday is good for her, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Beau. Talk to you soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joanna disconnected and took the baby from the high chair. \u201cButch, you have a minute?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure. Who was on the phone?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was Beau. JA\u2019s had some surgery, and he thinks it\u2019d be a good idea if we paid her a visit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know what, that\u2019s a great idea! She\u2019s always there for all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think so, too. I\u2019m going to call Ali and see if we can get away on Friday. Beau\u2019ll make the reservations.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joanna handed Sage over to Butch. \u201cI think a diaper change is in order.\u201d<\/p>\n
Butch sniffed and agreed. \u201cAnything for you, dear!\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
While Butch did diaper duty, Joanna looked up Ali\u2019s number, hoping she was home in Sedona. \u201cHi, Ali? This is Joanna. How\u2019re you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat Sheriff! Good to hear from you. What\u2019s new?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s why I\u2019m calling. JA\u2019s been laid up for a bit and Beau thinks we should pay her a visit. Are you up to it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAbsolutely! Is it serious?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think so, but we\u2019ll find out more when we get there. Can you leave Friday? From Flag?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure. Things are under control at the office right now. That shouldn\u2019t be a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBeau said he\u2019ll make the reservations. I\u2019ll let him know Friday\u2019s good for both of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Joanna! It\u2019ll be good to see JA again. We have a lot to catch up on.\u201d<\/p>\n
Friday afternoon, Beau picked up Joanna and Ali at SeaTac his Mercedes which was big enough to accommodate three adults and two carry-ons.<\/p>\n
\u201cLove the car, Beau! Thanks for extra room!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot a problem, Ali! It feels good to stretch out every once in a while.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat hotel are we at, Beau?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, as you guess, I\u2019m at the Belltown condo with Mel, but JA asked if you\u2019d two would like to stay with her at Casa Jance.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds wonderful,\u201d replied Joanna, \u201cbut won\u2019t we make for extra work, especially if JA\u2019s under the weather?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot at all. She assured me it wouldn\u2019t be any trouble, and besides, it\u2019s just for a couple of days.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, then! Onward!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was a wonderful dinner, JA!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, its amazing what good takeout is available nowadays!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd no dishes, either.”<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about a game of Scrabble?\u201d asked Ali. “I haven\u2019t played in a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll get it\u201d, offered Beau, \u201cif Bill\u2019ll point the way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not big on Scrabble,\u201d, JA said, “so I\u2019ll keep score, but Bill\u2019s a killer as far as Scrabble is concerned, and he plays to win!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo do I!\u201d said Joanna. Ali merely nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cBy the way,\u201d Joanna added, \u201cHere\u2019s a card and some cookies Jenny made for you, and before we start the game, I have something else. It\u2019s from Valerie. I saw her just before I left. When I told her we were going to visit you, she asked me to give you this.\u201d<\/p>\n
With that, Joanna got up from her chair, stooped in front of JA, and gave her a big hug. \u201cAll your fans love you, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wiping a tear from her eye, JA replied, \u201cAnd for that I\u2019m very grateful. Now it\u2019s time play! Who goes first?\u201d<\/p>\n
In case you\u2019re interested, that fictional tear resulted in a real one. What a gift it was to have my characters show up in person to cheer me on when I was at a low point. And although it was strange to hear them speaking words I hadn\u2019t personally written, it was also very gratifying.<\/p>\n
So thank you for that wonderful get well card, Valerie. Between those two very different cures for postpartum depression, I much prefer yours.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This has been an odd week. The manuscript for Collateral Damage went to New York on Monday. Now it\u2019s the long wait, holding my breath, waiting to hear what my new editor is going to say. In other words, it\u2019s the literary equivalent of postpartum depression. I\u2019m familiar with that, because I\u2019ve had it before\u2014both […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2556","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3nsBA-Fe","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2556","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2556"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2556\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2557,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2556\/revisions\/2557"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2556"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2556"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jajance.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2556"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}