Yesterday was two weeks and one day into the Moving Target book tour. It was also my first day off–a day with no travel, no events, no interviews. I almost got caught up on answering e-mails, some of which had been lurking in my new mail box for several days. I also had a mani/pedi, a haircut, a brow wax and, at the end of the day, dinner with family.
Sleeping in my own bed for a couple of days was very nice. Not having Bill and Bella with me was not so nice. My Bill drove Miss Daisy on the Arizona part of the tour, and my son, Bill, did the driving for the Western Washington portion. Now they have handed me off to my daughter-in-law/webmistress, Kathy, for the duration. Do you see a common denominator here? The drivers may change, but the author remains the same. They throw me out of the car, I go into the venue, do my dog and pony show and then they haul me off to the next venue. The day in Phoenix when I did four hour long events plus signings in one day was a killer. It’s a good thing Bill was driving. I hadn’t had a drop to drink, but I would have been an impaired driver due to sheer weariness. They could have cited me for DWT–Driving While Tired.
It’s great to do an event with a responsive crowd. Three hundred people in Centralia in the middle of the afternoon? YES!! A standing room only crowd in Puyallup on a Friday night? Yes! Unfortunately, several other the Puget Sound area events were dismally attended. When I can sell more books at Ida Culver House, an assisted living center, than I did at two library branches PUT TOGETHER, then something is seriously amiss. I’m taking that to mean that I’m old hat in the area Seattle these day, and that’s also going to mean that I will be doing fewer Seattle events in the future. Book tours are intended to see the people and sell books, and I’d rather go to where the people are than where they aren’t.
Speaking of people at signings. Some of them leave me absolutely shaking my head in dismay. For instance, there was a medical emergency at an event in Arizona. With so many Arizona communities being retirement communities, that’s not exactly surprising. I would hazard a guess that more medical emergencies occur there than in other cities of similar size but with a somewhat younger age demographic. I was standing in a roomful of people and had launched off into my talk when, over to my left, in the second row, I could see that something was going on. A woman, flanked by her husband on one side and a younger woman, most likely a daughter, on the other, was having some kind of difficulty. I paused my talk for a moment, saying I’d give them a chance to deal with it. What I thought they would do was leave. They didn’t. Instead, the younger woman hauled a cell phone out of her purse, summoned an ambulance, and proceeded to recount her mother’s various symptoms to a dispatcher.
I was truly at a loss as to what I should do. I felt sorry for the woman, of course, but I also felt sorry for the rest of the people in the room who were being held prisoner by the drama. At last several of the men in the room rose as one and helped the woman from the room. With some assistance she was able to walk out under her own steam. So now, along with asking people to turn off their electronic devices, I tell them that if there is a medical emergency, to please exit the room if at all possible before summoning an ambulance.
I am amazed that people hosting various events have to be TOLD SEVERAL TIMES that they MUST have a PA system. This is not rocket science. In addition, how many of you folks, besides me, have hearing impairments? And what about my voice? Projecting my speaking voice for an hour-long presentation doesn’t work. Try several presentations a day! I can’t do it. My position at the moment is this: if the venue doesn’t have a working PA, I will walk. No mic? No talk! It’s that simple. I’ll simply sign books and leave.
My goodness. I’m sounding cranky today. If this were an e-mail that showed up in my mail box, it would definitely go to the bottom of the pile. So let me just say, the vast majority of the people who come to signings and who host signings are terrific! And even given all the challenges, I love being able to interact with my readers and tell them the stories behind the stories; to introduce them to the real people who have given rise to my characters; and to tell them the bits of my life that mysteriously seem to work their way into my stories whether I know it or not.
One of the most difficult things about being on tour is having to be charming 24/7. I’ve given myself a bit of a break from the charm department yesterday and today, but by the time we land in Fort Lauderdale, I’ll be ready. I’ll have a smile on my face, a red pen in my hand, bookmarks in my purse, and I’ll be ready to meet the world!
Hello Florida!